


The birds and the bees

by justmeandmysillystuff



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Making Out, Massages, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Frustration, Sexy Times, Viktor being a dork, fluff and comedy, romantic evening between husbands, showering together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:50:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11425950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmeandmysillystuff/pseuds/justmeandmysillystuff
Summary: Viktor and Yuuri have a lovely married life, a lovey job, and a lovely daughter who's their pride an joy. The only problem is when those last two atteinments interfere with the first one, and their careers and their princess won't let them have some alone time.  It's a nice Friday evening, their girl is staying over at a friend's, and Viktor's balls are blue. Oh, just wait till you get home, Yuuri.





	The birds and the bees

Viktor was suffering the worst case of blue balls in the history of time.

Worse than those trips away from home, back when he competed aboard and away from his beloved. Worse than those two weeks in which his in-laws came to visit from Japan, and they were staying at the guests room that was literally next to his room. Even worse than that time Yuuri got appendicitis and he had to go through that eternal recovering process. Yes, definitely worse.

There was not a single minute of rejoice he could spare with his husband. In three full months, the most intimate activity they had engaged in had been that day Yuuri found a hair growing from a mole in his back and asked Viktor to pluck it out. They gave skating lessons at two different rinks, and had about five different students a day each. Viktor choreographed some programs for professionals, too. And Yuuri taught some dancing classes some few hours a week. They would return home feeling drained and exhausted, and all they really wanted was to eat and sleep.

And if by some sort of miracle they happened to have some alone time…Lori would always be home.

When their daughter was younger, it was easier to be sneaky. She didn’t find it suspicious when they locked themselves in their room for  _hours_  during the weekends, saying they were taking a nap. And she really wouldn’t question them if she happened to hear the sound of the bed creaking. Kids were innocent and lovely, and life was easy.

But now that Lori was eleven, and that they knew she had had the birds and the bees talk at school, they weren’t willing to try their luck.

Once, while Viktor had been taking a shower, Yuuri slipped in with him and tried to seize the moment. They thought their daughter would be too busy to realize both of her dads were missing at the same time, but as Viktor got on his knees and they had barely gotten started, there was a loud knock in the door to put end to the fun. They were lucky enough he had had his mouth full and they didn’t answer at the same time, because there was no way they would have gotten away with it if she heard both of their voices. Thankfully, Yuuri simply told her Papa had left for some groceries, and they managed to successfully exit the bathroom together without getting caught.

They never tried that again, though.

One afternoon, after he got a message from one of his students saying he couldn’t attend practice for the day, Viktor found himself at home early. He was alone, since Yuuri was still working, and it wasn’t the time to pick Lori up from school just yet. It was Friday, meaning it was his turn to grab the car and take her to the rink, as well as coaching her for a few hours.

He was listening to music, trying to choose the music for a program he had to choreograph, when the classical melody was interrupted by the gaudy tune of his ringtone.

“Hello?” He answered, after he survived the quasi-heart attack, lowering the volume of his laptop’s speakers.

_“Papa?”_

“Lori, sweetie!” He chirped, holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he wrote the name of the song he had just been listening as an option “How are you doing? Did something happen?”

 _“May I skip practice today?”_ She avoided any sort of preambles, already used to her father being bubbly and talkative  _“Can we leave it for tomorrow?”_

Viktor frowned, letting go of the pen and focusing on the conversation instead.

“I don’t think so, Lori…I’m kind of busy tomorrow, you know I work on the choreographies during the weekends” He hated to deny things to his daughter, but duty was duty “And you have competition coming soon…we need to work on your flip!”

_“Yeah, I know. It’s just that Arisha’s throwing a sleepover tonight, and she wants me to go to her house directly from school so that I…”_

Viktor froze, realization hitting him like a truck.

“So you mean…you wouldn’t be sleeping home tonight?”

_“Well, no. Arisha’s mom offered to take us to her house after school and…”_

Duty could fucking wait.

“You know what? Now that I think about it, you should totally go!” He said, standing up at the speed of light, almost tripping over a cushion “You’ve been working so hard lately, you deserve some rest!”

 _“For real??”_ He could feel her excitement over the speaker, or maybe it was his own excitement echoing within the walls.

“For real, honey! Have fun!”

 _“Thank you, Papa!”_ She exclaimed  _“You are the best!”_

The second she ended the phone call, Viktor was already at the front door, wallet in his pocket and car keys in hand. Yuuri would be teaching dancing lessons at an institute until late in the evening, which meant he had a bunch of hours before he returned home. That should be more than enough. Jumping into the car he started the engine and made his way to the nearest Walmart, honking at a few slow passerby who didn’t understand the  _urgency_  of the situation, and walking through the aisles like a kid at a candy shop.  He bought things he didn’t even know what he needed for. He was improvising, so whatever looked tempting or romantic enough would be pushed into the shopping cart without second thought. The cashier looked at him kind of funnily as he passed the maracujá flavored lube through the conveyor belt but he didn’t care.

That was probably going to be the only alone night they would have in a long time, and hell he was going to make the best out of it.

 

* * *

Yuuri got out of the bus feeling like it had run over him instead of giving him a ride. He was exhausted. There wasn’t a single muscle in his body that wouldn’t complain to the simple task of walking, and the neat streets of St. Petersburg looked like a misty labyrinth for his worn-out mind. He was getting too old for eight daily classes, he didn’t know how long it would take him to faint in the middle of the ice or in front of his students at the dance studio.  He couldn’t even stick his key into the keyhole as he reached his home, needing literally three attempts until he finally got it right, and heard the comforting screeching of the old wooden door that meant the day was finally over for him.

The first clue he got about something unusual going on, was the faint sound of jazz music in the background, a smooth tune that caught his ear even before he adverted his eyes from the entrance. He froze in place, narrowing his eyes, way too tired to think and move at the same time. The second sign was the dim lighting, and the sweet smell of cinnamon pushing its way into his nostrils to remind him just how hungry he was. He turned around, confused, thinking he had entered the wrong house for a second, until he took in the sight of his own living room, completely covered in rose petals and scented candles.

“Wha-?” He looked around, curious yet sort of intimidated, barely venturing to give some few steps forwards “Viktor??”

He heard the sound of the kitchen’s door opening, and his husband walked into the room wearing the haughtiest of expressions, and that beautiful burgundy shirt Yuuri claimed to love so much. He looked so handsome, compared to Yuuri’s sweaty, dying self, and he smelt like that cologne they had bought at the Free Shop in their trip to Maldives.

“Welcome home, love” He purred, taking him by the waist and pulling him close, running his fingers up and down his spine as he whispered into his ear “How are you feeling?”

“Confused” Yuuri choked out and sighed, trying his best not to give into his needs and put a stop to the spectacle when Viktor reached to mouth at his neck “Hmm, love…we can’t…Lori is…”

“She’s not here” He whispered, breath hot and minty against his face “She’s staying at Arisha’s”

Yuuri stared at him bugged eyed, stopping his forceless attempts of pushing him away.

“Does that mean…?”

“Yes, babe. We have the house to ourselves” He dived back onto the crook of his neck, leaving warm, open-mouthed kisses, and earning a breathy, docile moan for an answer “I have a wonderful evening planned out for you, love”

“Hmm…” Yuuri closed his eyes and smirked, falling pray of his desires “Let’s head to the bedroom, then”

“Nu-uh, not so fast” Viktor stopped him as he tried to walk away, not wanting him to see the roses on the bed and the fact he had perfumed the sheets to smell like vanilla. That was supposed to be a surprise “There are other things left in the agenda”

“Oh?” Yuuri smiled, loving just how unpredictable and corny his husband could get, deciding he wanted to play along “Tell me what awaits me, please”

He felt the press of warm, strong fingers digging into the back of his tense neck, making him roll his head backwards, engulfing in the sensation.

“First, I’m going to give you a nice, long massage, with some coconut oil I just bought” Viktor said softly, moving to stroke his shoulders instead “Then, we are going to take a shower together. Some snacks I bought will be waiting for us in the living room, together with the finest of wines. And only once we are finished, relaxed and clean and full…then we’ll move to the bedroom, and we’ll make love all night” He cooed, and Yuuri let out a pleased whine at the feeling of fingers losing up his tired muscles “How  does that sound?”

He looked up at him, melting under his bare hands, and leaning in to deliver a thankful, earnest kiss.

“Where’s that coconut oil??”

 

* * *

 

After an intense massage session, with Yuuri resting face down on the sofa and Viktor straddling his thighs, he decided that coconut oil had been a great inversion. He had worked on every single muscle in his body, from the neck to his calves, pressing on the flesh almost expertly and cutting off the jazz background music with pleasured sighs and moans. To have his husband like that, half-naked and oily and making those breathy noises with his throat, it was making it really hard for Viktor to follow his own schedule. He kept reminding himself Yuuri was surely exhausted and tense, and that it was better to get him to relax before they moved on to the bedroom. For real, the muscles of his shoulders did some noises he was pretty sure shoulders weren’t supposed to do. And the sight of his bare back, sturdy and shiny and slippery as he rubbed his hands onto it…it was no waste of an experience.

He was returned the favor, too, with Yuuri surprising him by offering to massage his feet. He normally would have denied, since he had planned everything out to pamper him, but his feet were indeed sore and tired from being stuck into his skates all week. It reminded him to their younger years, back when they competed together. They would take care of each other after long days of practice, and massaging their feet was nearly a ritual. He had almost forgotten how nice it felt, how intimate.

Once they were done, Viktor prepared them a steamy shower to rinse off the oil and the day’s leftovers. They laughed, remembering the day Lori almost caught them, and arguing over the water’s temperature. They kissed, slowly, lazily, in between the hum of the shower and the mist, getting lightheaded from the encounter and inhaling vapor, letting their hands wander and remember the paths of each other’s skin.

They must have stayed there for almost an hour, hugging each other close, letting the warm water wash their stresses away, as all they did was mold into the other’s hold.

After Yuuri rinsed the shampoo out from Viktor’s hair, he initiated a much heated, suggestive kiss and sealed it with the whispery offer of getting on his knees for him. He could see the way his husband’s adam’s apple bobbed, the flush on his cheeks from both the steam and the arousal, but he shook his head in rejection.

“All in due time, solnyshko” He promised, peppering his chest with kisses, rubbing his hands through his sides “You just wait”

They wore their matching robes, comfortable and silky, still not over the high of the shower.

Yuuri took some extra time in the bathroom applying some medical cream he used daily, and by the time he reached the living room Viktor was already waiting for him. On top of the coffee table, there was sushi of every kind neatly served on their finest crockery. If he hadn’t known Viktor, one would say it was homemade. But he had been married for almost fifteen years and he didn’t need to check the trash to know there were the packages of the nearest sushi restaurant.  It wasn’t a turn-off, it was a truism. Viktor cooking was a big no, plus he had a really good taste in takeout.

And, of course, there were the two big glasses and the late harvest wine they both enjoyed so much.

As he saw him walk into the room, Viktor lowered the music’s volume slightly and pat the place in the sofa that was right next to his own. And just to outsmart him, Yuuri sat on his lap instead, taking a piece of fish with his bare fingers into his mouth and looking at his husband cheekily. He received a chuckle and a kiss on the cheek for an answer, and he was handed his respective cup of wine as he brought the sushi tray onto his lap.

“I see you took custody of the food” Viktor teased him, opening the bottle of wine and giving it a good sniff before he took his own glass “Aren’t you planning to share?”

Yuuri grabbed a maki roll, Viktor’s favorite kind, and pushed it into his mouth as he opened up for him. He laughed and cleaned the rest of rice falling from the corner of his mouth, eating it himself. He leaned backwards, resting half of his body on the couch’s armrest and stretching his legs onto the free space, holding up his glass for his husband to get the clue.

“Easy there!” He giggled as he saw him fill his glass to the brim “Are you trying to get me drunk or something?”

“Hmm…maybe” He gave to quick kisses to his lips, taking a sip “I don’t need to get you drunk to get into your pants, though”

“Of course you don’t” Yuuri grabbed him by the back of the head, tangling his fingers through the undercut, and pushing him in for a deep, soft kiss.

His mouth tasted like the wine he had just gulped, sweet and tingly, and Yuuri thought he might get drunk on it. The engulfing scent and the low waves of light from the candles played along with Viktor’s absurd fantasies, giving their home a feeling of softness and warmth their maturity couldn’t deny and they felt so young and love-struck, powered by nothing but pure carnal love and want. They had postponed it so much, stretched their need for so long, almost like pulling from an elastic band until it gave up and broke.

Yuuri wrapped an arm around his neck, and sat properly on his lap by placing a knee on either side of his thighs. Viktor hummed, rubbing his hands through the skin of his legs under the robe and making sure he didn’t spill his drink as they made out. They kissed, kissed and laughed, not because it was funny but for the mere joy, the satisfaction of having each other again, as if they hadn’t been sleeping on the same bed for all those years. They had missed each other, they had been apart, and they needed the reencounter.

“You have no idea how much I wanted this” Yuuri sighed, hugging him close, rubbing his hands up and down his biceps “Something would always interrupt us”

“No more” Viktor breathed in his scent, the exact perfume of his own shampoo, only that on him it smelt better “Tonight it’s us and only us”

“Oh thank god” He dived in to kiss him again, letting him get his hands under his robe and push him to rest on the sofa, leaning above him.

“You just way till the bedroom, love” He pressed their foreheads together, whispering against his mouth “It’s going to be the best night ever”

 

* * *

_“Dad? Pa?”_

Viktor shifted in his sleep, trying to let the softness of the sheets embrace him back to sleep. But the surface he was lying on wasn’t exactly comfortable.

_“Papa? Daddy? Are you here?”_

He felt quite a heavy weight, heavy and warm, moving slightly on top of his chest. He tried to open his eyes, but his lids felt like they had been stuck with superglue, and the sharp rays of sunlight had his temples throbbing in pain. What? Hadn’t they closed the curtains?

“Pa!” A strong grip on his shoulder forced him into vigil out from the mere jolt, and he blinked his eyes open to a very much puzzled Lori standing right next to him “Pa, Dad! What are you doing here??”

Viktor tried to sit up, but the weight of Yuuri’s body held him down, and he had to rely on the fact he was staring at the living room’s chandelier to deduce he was not in his bedroom. He took a hand to his husband’s shoulder and shook him awake, seeing him raise his head in confusion and look around, the cloth of his blue rob hanging loosely from his shoulder. It wasn’t until he saw the few sushi leftovers and the empty cups of wine, that he remembered the previous night’s events.

“Lori?”

The look on her face was mainly confused but also sort of disgusted, as if she was really curious about the situation overall but at the same time she really didn’t want to know.

“Why are there melted candles everywhere? What’s with that jazz music? And why are you sleeping on the couch??”

Yuuri and Viktor stared at each other, realizing they had fallen asleep on the living room, that they were both still fully clothed, and that the maracujá lube was still waiting for them untouched in the room.

“NOOOOO!!!!”


End file.
